five years.


August 5 2013

 
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In two months, I will have lived in this city for five whole years. Never in my life did I think that I was going to call San Antonio my home, but that is what it has become. I moved here on a whim the year I graduated from college. It was the peak of the recession and no one was hiring in Dallas (in fact the job I had lined up actually closed it’s doors that year.. so sad) so when I accepted a job for a 6 month internship at an Architecture firm in San Antonio, I never thought I’d still be working there almost 5 years later.

The friends I had the first year I lived here are not the friends I have today. In fact, none of them even live here anymore. It’s like they were just placed in my life so that I wouldn’t give up on this city. Because let me tell you, I definitely wanted to give up several times. If you’ve never moved to a new city by yourself, it’s a very humbling, scary, lonely, yet exciting experience. I highly recommend it. The first year I lived here, I actually managed a rock band (while working full-time) isn’t that weird? I dove into the music scene hard, and met a lot of fun and interesting people. I actually would run into Derek at a lot of these shows, but we were just friends at the time. I never thought that the cute Architect who bought me vodka cranberries would eventually be my husband. It’s so weird how things work out.

As I floated through this chapter of my life in my new city, I was still very unhappy. Although I was working as an Interior Designer at the oldest Architecture firm in the state of Texas, I had met the man of my dreams, and a handful of amazing friends, I felt stifled creatively. Which may not sound like a huge deal, but as a person who thrives on creativity, this was the worst of worsts. Which is why I created this blog in the first place. I needed a creative outlet. I used this blog to share my love of design, find others who shared my passion, and create beautiful things for my home and for others’. I never thought it would grow into what it is today.

Even with the blog though, I felt trapped here. All I knew about being an “adult” was my job, my bills, my 401k, my boyfriend/fiance/husband, and my friends/family. I knew exactly where my unhappiness stemmed from, and I blamed my city for it. I was ready to leave.

Fast Forward to a month ago (before I went MIA). I was offered my dream job. The job I’ve been waiting for since my summer internship (which has since changed it’s name) Junior year with my Bestie. In that moment, everything changed. I no longer felt like there was this creative void in my life. I felt fulfilled. I started seeing my city in a whole new light. The food tasted better, the colors were more vibrant, the people were more charming. That being said, I still had (have) several projects around the house to work on and share with you all, but I haven’t felt the need to do them or share them. I have been brainstorming cute summer outfits, and beautiful home decor, but haven’t written about them. I didn’t reel the need to write anymore, I was too busy enjoying the way I experienced my new city after 5 years of living here. For a while I actually thought about stopping this blog, but it broke my heart to think of all the work I’ve put into it, to just throw it away. I received countless comments, Facebook messages, personal emails, and texts from all of you asking when I would be back. That’s when I knew I couldn’t just stop.

So instead I just took a little month off from writing.

But I’m back now! I’ve found a balance between my new job, my Etsy shop, my family and friends, my projects around the house, and sharing them all with you here. I’m so excited about this new chapter in my life, and some other exciting things on the horizon (that hopefully I can share with you soon!) Sometimes you just need a little time for yourself to clear your head and regroup. Thank you for being patient with me and sticking around. You guys are the best :)

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17 thoughts on “five years.

  1. Adrienne

    I almost cried reading this! For a number of reasons…

    A.) I’m SO GLAD you’re back! I missed you… like a lot.

    B.) Your story about your new city woes is so totally relateable. I’m in the same boat. Everyone I’ve grown close to is LEAVING. Work is getting crazy, things are getting hectic, I’m really, really tired. Lately, we’ve been talking about giving it all up and moving back. But then… you have a gorgeous Saturday, brunching along the coastline of the Pacific, and spend all day Saturday at a BBQ with new friends, playing cornhole and grilling out and life doesn’t seem so bad :)

    C.) I think you and Derek are just the greatest written love story. You guys are so precious and have so much love for each other and I LOVE your seemingly humble beginnings!

    D.) I’m so happy you love your new job :) It’s where you spend your LIFE… you should love it! I admire your bravery to leave the only ‘adult’ job you’ve ever known! Takes a lot of guts and is harder than you think… even when it’s not everything you want right now!

    That’s all… I’m now thinking of doing a similar post on all of the feelings I’ve been having about this transitional phase lately. Thanks for being the catalyst to it! ;) Happy Monday!

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    Catharine Reply:

    Now I’M all misty eyed! I’m glad I’m not alone in these feelings, you always look like you’re living the dream via your amazing foodie photos and it helps to know that it isn’t always peaches n’ cream for everyone. Moving to a new city is hard! But it really is just savoring the little moments and making time to have them more often that makes everything worthwhile. I can’t wait to read your post friend :) and I am so thankful that you emailed me about this new job :) I can’t wait to see you in October!!

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  2. Parisa

    Wow.. Totally relatable! Thank you for your honesty! I felt the EXACT same when we moved to NYC. (I’m still feeling the same way after moving back to be honest) We love you and we love this blog! You deserve a month off (more even, really) and we appreciate your talent and you sharing it with us! For me, reading this blog and brainstorming ideas through this blog is a creative outlet. Seeing you dream up and create things helps those of us who aren’t creative but so desperately wish that we were, serves as a creative outlet, if that makes sense.

    Thank you for sharing your life with us :) we love you!!

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    Catharine Reply:

    Thank you for your sweet words Parisa! I’m so flattered that you consider me a creative outlet, that’s probably the best compliment I’ve ever received. Thank you for understanding my little leave of absence, and hopefully you will find your niche again soon and feel at home once again :) Love you!

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  3. Lauren

    Oh Catharine, this is such I beautiful and honest post. I feel it’s your best one to date! Thank you for sharing this journey of yours with all of us, it has been such a pleasure and inspiration to witness all the amazing moments you have brought into our lives. Congratulations on your five year anniversary! I am so proud of you!

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    Catharine Reply:

    Thank you so much Lauren, you are so wonderful :)

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  4. lindsay

    What a wonderful post! I completely understand what you said about needing a creative outlet to fulfill something that is not quite right. I’m glad you are back, even if it is not on a completely regular basis. I enjoy your posts & creativity and I’m glad you’ll continue to keep us along for the ride!

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    Catharine Reply:

    Thank you so much Lindsay! :) It’s good to be back.

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  5. Tamara

    I’m so happy you took some time to recalibrate your engine. Change is wonderful, but hard. Growth is even harder. And you are a wise woman to understand yourself enough to know what you need and pursue it (and so young and so much more to show yourself!!) Keep at this Catharine, on your terms and keeping true to your vision. I see others have missed you as much as I have. Looking forward to even more.

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    Catharine Reply:

    Thank you so much for your sweet words Tamara! You have always been so supportive, and that means everything to me.

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  6. Annabel Vita

    When I started by blog, it was definitely a creative outlet as my job at the time was not creative at all, I’m now back in a writing job that takes a lot of creativity out of me and so I post a lot less. I’m happy with this! I never set out to be a famous professional blogger, so my blog always has to be bringing me greater joy than the other things I could be doing with my time. It’s a hobby not a chore.

    I think the wonderful thing about blogs is you can subscribe to them. Some of my favourite blogs barely ever post but I love it when they do!

    I love, love your blog and will be reading whenever you share!

    [Reply]

    Catharine Reply:

    That is exactly how I feel Annabel! I always thing “quality vs. quantity” is always best. Sure I could write all day everyday, but those posts would be oh so boring. Some days I rather take Geoffrey for a walk in the park than write about cool lamps I’ve found, and that’s okay :) I am so lucky to have readers who understand. I am dying a bit to see your wedding pictures, but I know how long it takes to sort them out :)

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  7. Erin

    I started to tear up when I read this. I have only been reading your blog for the last 2 years I think. But when I fell in love with it, I made it a weekly (err daily) routine, reading, and learning and letting you two entertain me. I actually looked today because I had also been taking a hiatus and wondered to myself, “hey I wonder that derek and catherine have been writing about.” I just moved to a new city after 7 years, I started a new job, am going back to school, and feel stifled. Things happen and choices are made to bring about new perspectives. I am happy you decided to stay with us. Although I don’t know you personally, and have written only a handful of comments, I really am grateful and attached to the content within and the ability you have to share your experiences through this blog.
    I wish you the best with your new job! Happy year number 5 in san ant!
    <3

    [Reply]

    Catharine Reply:

    Thank you so much Erin! I am so thankful to have had sweet readers like you for so long. I feel so special to have been a part of your daily/weekly routine. You are the reason I love to write and stay up late doing projects. I promise to be back at it very soon :)

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